i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
