since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
