He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
