It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I party with great urgency now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
