From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
