i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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