Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
