It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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