Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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