Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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