But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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