ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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