Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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