Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
