next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
