dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
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I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize