I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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