I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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