The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
