White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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