He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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