Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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