I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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