If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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