smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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