Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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