Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
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I need a burrito and a hug.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
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And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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