everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i need some magic done to my vagina
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize