I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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