whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
