the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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