i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
