he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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