He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize