Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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