chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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