i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
