i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
