and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
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I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
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I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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