I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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