i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
