He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
