Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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