I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
