I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
