It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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