dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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