I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
