So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
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Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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