please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
