found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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