lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
