I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize