I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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