I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
