Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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