so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize