This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
