Tell her she can't have a vagina
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.