but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.